My dream trips :)

I decided to write down my dream trips, since I add more to that every now and then, I'm afraid I will forget something. I really wish to do those trips before I die :). I won't sort them. Whatever is possible to do first, I will.

1. Another visit to the UK, one that's more organized, and maybe for a longer time

2. Spend some time in Paris, three nights is never enough!

3. Angkor, Cambodia!

4. Latin America, didn't decide which countries yet, but for sure I have to drop by Peru to visit a friend there

5. Aswan

6. A trip along the Nile till I reach lake Victoria. I have to drop by each country of the nine, really feel it, breathe it, taste it!

7. Italy, this one will be a long trip, I believe I need to visit every single province there!

8. Bali, Indonesia

9. India...India...India (this one may need a month!)

10. China

11. Planet Japan (Maybe!)

12. Qatar, wanna see the place where I grew up once more :)

13. A trip to the gulf countries in general!

14. Malaysia, I believe I need to spend sometime there, a few years maybe!

15. Lebanon

WOW... This is too much!! Yes, I do love traveling :D

I may add to this least later on :). Whoever believes this is exciting, please, come and join me :)

It's complicated!

Same hearts broken ... Same tears ... Same feelings ... Same complications ... Same old story ... Only two different souls ...

How sarcastic it is to watch the same story going over and over again. And it only goes this way, because those people really loved each other. If they never did, it would have gone much more simpler. Lovers, soul mates, or whatever name you may give to them. They are just two hearts tied together and they both know how together they become a unique soul that can give a lot to the world. But, unfortunately, it's complicated!

So, lets see where the complication starts. In about 90% of the stories I've been through, it was always the same mistake. One of the hearts, looks at his weaknesses, and so believes the other is too good for them. And that it would be much better for that other, if he leaves silently and peacefully! And, so stupidly, he does that, without even talking to the other, or even asking what they could be thinking of, or if they had another opinion! No, just leave silently with your weakness, and watch them living happily without you! Now, it's complicated!

Time goes by, the hearts meet again, and blame each other for what happened, they hurt each other, and so, it gets more complicated... And, they leave again!

Time still goes by, and now, each has got their responsibilities, life is not easy as they thought! Now, they meet again, they both grew much older, much stronger but maybe not wiser, remembering the old days, the week heart regrets the decision he made long ago!! But, with the responsibilities, there is no turning back, and it gets even more complicated!

Leave and comeback, back and forth, the years pass, and it gets complicated. A fight inside with no clue, which to choose. Be brave enough and face it, or stay same weak and live with the complications and fight inside for the rest of their lives. Only brave hearts choose to face it, but brave is not a common trait. That's why most of the stories have the sad endings. A lifetime pain, with no cure. But, for the brave, life can turn at any moment to a fairy tale!

Wish you braveness. Wish you love and forever happiness.

On behalf of my generation ... I apologize!

I apologize to Mr. Abbas Ibn Firnas for not knowing him well enough, and mocker him as if he was a madman. I apologize for every famous scientist, for every hero, who lead the Islamic civilization one day, when Europe was drowning in the dark ages!

Lately, Vodafone Egypt started a campaign with a series of ads. The ads don't only reveal the ignorance of MY generation, but, from the ads, I can see, no morals, no identity, no knowledge, just nothing. It shows that the hibernation phase we have been through, took so long, that we lost everything, and I believe this is becoming too dangerous. Thanks God, there are still some survivors, who woke up, and asked for banning the ad that mockers Abbas Ibn Firnas. I believe the ad is already stopped, thanks Vodafone for respecting your customers voices.

What's really ironic, is that Mr. Ahmad AlShugairi's last season of his TV program "Khawater (thoughts)" was dedicated to those scientists and heroes. And he had a special episode for "Abbas Ibn Firnas" himself! Also, he showed us some of the good figures living in our generation, this includes countries of the far east, like Malaysia and Singapore.

This is a small note, a call for everyone to wake up, read, know more about our glorious history. Take Ahmad AlShugair's "Khawater"as a start. You can find more about him here;

• Website
• Twitter
• Youtube channel
• Facebook official page
• Khawater facebook fan page

Enjoy, and happy Eid :)

Mounir...

Excited, I've always wished to attend a Mounir concert. And, finally, it was time, a good chance, a good company. Heard the news, 30 000 tickets were already booked. What a number! Made it even more exciting. Well, 30 000, I could imagine how this will look like; sweat, alcohols, marijuana!! What I didn't expect of a big star like Mounir, being late for 2 hours! Thousands of people, standing in their places, on the beach for two long hours, just waiting for him to show up! No need to describe how boring it was; back pain, children crying, even breathing was difficult! Too much!!

Fireworks start, and he was there, on stage, FINALLY! I can't describe the moment. Suddenly, I forgot all the pain! Though, I didn't have the chance to see the man, out of all the crowed, I could feel him standing there on the stage. A big mountain standing strong! What character, what energy, what experience. I never imagined I would feel that, never did I see such a strong character in any of the concerts I attended. Just a moment, and I was totally in.

Enjoying the concert wasn't only about the music I was listening to, or the great person singing with that sweet sensitive voice, or the beautiful lyrics written by a real human! I enjoyed watching those thousands of Mounir clones. They copied all his gestures, his body language. They learned the music and lyrics by heart! Everybody was singing. Everybody was jumping, a lot of energy was in the air! Everybody was high, including me, I don't believe it was just the marijuana!!

Wondering, how this man could reach such success, and keep it for all those years, he's been into that business for more than 30 years. So easy to answer, LOVE! He sings from the heart, to the heart. His voice creeps so smoothly to touch every single heart it reaches. The beautiful lyrics he chooses, represents real humans! The true Egyptian music style, that you can never hear anywhere else!

I find it a unique experience. And, I'm ready to go through all the pain, to enjoy it all over again!

Dying!!! Could it be?!!!

As a long term sufferer and a strong believer, I've been always seeking signs to tell me when my sufferings will end. Asking God to guide me, and give me help to get over it. About two weeks ago, I started seeing sings that my sufferings are ending soon. It felt really relieving.

But, suddenly, I started reading different signs. All the new signs talked about death and judgment day! Now, I can't help it but start believing that yes, those suffering years are ending soon, but in a different, unexpected way! Could it really be? Am I dying soon?!! Actually, it doesn't feel like a bad idea. It is not because I'm depressed or anything. I just believe that the best is waiting for me in the other world, and I really miss God!
It feels weird. A bit terrifying, going to the unknown! A bit not happy, because I didn't really do all I wanted to. I still have lots of dreams to fulfill, of course, those dreams are not concerning me personally. I always wished I will have the chance to live and help the world come a better place. But, if this is the choice of God, He already knows my intentions. And, I know I will get my reward anyway!

So, I'm taking the chance now, if I'm ever to die soon, to tell you thank you, everyone of you. Everyone I ever met, even if we didn't talk. Thank you for being a part of my life, thank you for all the lessons you taught me. And for my close ones, thank you for being there for me. And, I'm sorry if I let anyone down. Please, believe me, I always had good intentions, even if things didn't look that way. If I hurt you by any means. I'm sorry. If we ever fought, If I ever talked bad of you, please, forgive me. Please, believe that I've loved you someway. And, if I ever to die before you do, please, remember me in your prayers.

Flowers on my doorstep

I wake up late this morning. Like everyday, I get ready in a hurry, I open the door to check the newspaper before I leave. And, for my surprise, I find a beautiful basket of flowers. "Whom is the cute one who ever thought to send this to me?" I thought to myself. I pick up the basket to check the card attached there. "The card is not signed!!! It gotta be him". Now, all the happiness within me turns into rage! I wish I can see him now to punch him in the face! "How dare you! After all those years. Now, you remember me!! Where have you been all this time?! Why now! How can you be so evil! How I hate you!!"...

Now, I start hearing a different voice, saying exactly the opposite!

Voice 2: Why are you being so cruel! You know it's not his fault!
Voice 1: No.. It's him, If he just mentioned it, life would have looked so different now!

Another voice joins the fight!

Voice 3: Oh God! Why is this happening to me! I thought it was all over! Why, after all those years!
Voice 2: Please, listen to me, you gotta believe me... It's all your fault, you are the one who didn't give him any chances!
Voice 1: Don't believe him!! He's the one who always caused you pain! Can't you see?!
Voice 3: Yes, you are right! He always caused me pain. He never cared for my happiness. He always likes to play those strange heroic roles.
Voice 2: Can you just listen to me, for once in your lifetime for God's sake!
Voice 1: Now, what do you want to say? He's kind, right? He loves me!? I'm the one who started all that! I'm the reason for wasting all those years.. I'm the one who caused MYSELF all this pain! That's what you want to say!
Voice 2: Seems you know it very well! Why don't you believe me then!
Voice 1: Because you are pathetic! Can't you see, you still love him, you still believe in him, after all this pain we've been through!!!
Voice 3: Please, stop it both, I'm so much in pain! You are driving me crazy...
Voice 2: You will go crazy if you don't listen to me this time! Please, for once in your life, believe me!
Voice 1: And what after that, spend the rest of his life in pain!
Voice 2: No... Never, how can you believe I would let you live in pain. I know what I talk about, I know the road to God!
Voice 3: Why do you make me feel this way!
Voice 1: Cause he wants to win the fight! Don't believe him!
Voice 2: Fight! What are you talking about?! I care for you both. It's my role to take care of you, and show you the road to happiness... to God!
Voice 3: Yes, and that road is full of pain.. I know that very well...
Voice 2: Maybe in the beginning it's painful, I know, but, later you will be happy, you will enjoy your life ever after...
Voice 3: Do you believe so?! Are you sure of that?
Voice 1: Ok, now you are starting to listen to him! Are you ready for all this pain??
Voice 3: Why not, maybe he is right.. I never gave him the chance.. I've been following you all those years, and I'm not any happier!
Voice 1: Just believe me this time, I know, I have a good plan for you. Don't you remember this guy? He's been there waiting for you for so long! Why don't you give him a chance??
Voice 2: NOOOO... He's making you sell yourself again, for the first one who knocks your door.. Don't do that, you will regret it!
Voice 1: No, you won't!
Voice 2: No, I'm sure you will. Like every time, you give someone the chance, when he never deserved it. And, you keep pushing, and forcing yourself into a life that you don't want. Then, after a few months, you give it all up!
Voice 1: So what! We'll find someone even better, if this one is not good enough!
Voice 2: Better! Better than whom? You know that no one will be better than him, no one ever felt you the way he does, no one ever loved you as much as him. If you let him go this time, you may never have the chance to be with him again till you die. And you will spend the rest of your life searching in vain!
Voice 1: This will be much better, we are sure then we got rid of him forever!
Voice 3: Yes, this sounds convenient to me! I think I'm satisfied this way!
Voice 2: I won't let you sleep! You will keep suffering the rest of your life.. I won't give you this relief... ever!
Voice 1: Don't listen to him... Please, confide in me!
Voice 3: hmmmm....
Voice 1: I won't ever let any one touch you, or harm you by any means.. It's my job to keep you safe!

Now, I think to myself "So, what we're gonna do with those flowers?! Let them burn in hell, just as I wish he does!"

Innocence Nostalgia!!

The last time I listened to this song (Nassaya - Hisham Abbas), before this night on the radio on my way back home, it was about 18 years ago. First, I didn't even remember the name of the song. Then as the song played, I started remembering the melody, and hardly the lyrics. While it was nearly the middle of the song, I couldn't help the tears!

The delicate song, reminded me of my heart that once used to be, the same time this song was released! I had no worries, the whole world was just a beautiful song. I didn't know what pain means. I didn't know that pain even exists. I didn't know what regret is. I didn't try failure by then. I was so clean, so innocent. I was so fresh and happy. My heart was pure ... undamaged. I miss this feeling of pureness. I wish I could be so clean again. But, how can I come pure again after walking through this mire. Years of suffering and pain. All kinds of pain, loss is the main title, losing loved ones, losing years, losing emotions over ones who never believed them.

I don't have a conclusion for this! It's just the nostalgia taking over me. I don't know if there's anything I could do, or even if I should!!