Skip to main content

The Visit

On Sunday the 15th of November 2015, in the early morning, while I was in a taxi driving me to work, I had my car being fixed at this time for the license renewal, back then, I received a call from Mrs. Imane. She said that the visit would be the next Thursday, and I told her I would have to confirm for all the parties to be available. Thanks God I wasn't driving at that moment, I think I would have made an accident of confusion. I spent the next two hours arranging with everyone to make sure that Thursday would work with everybody. And I did it!

On Tuesday I went to the garage to receive my car (Barkooka), but, I found it was not ready yet, and some other stuff needed to be done.

The next Wednesday, Mrs. Imane called asking me to go drive them from their office to home, I was confused, I said yes, though I didn't have my car to do that! After I hanged up, I realised it. I asked your grandma for support, but, she had other stuff to do...

Thursday, I took a taxi and went to the office, I was half an hour early. For the taxi dirver it was too long to wait for the ladies. And I had to wait in the street till they arrived. It was 8:30 in the morning! Anyway, they both arrived, with about twenty minutes difference. When Mrs. Imane arrived she took me up to her office so I can fill the application till the other lady arrives. It was the first time to meet ... and  now I forgot her name! That's how I am since I became a Fibro patient. Anyway, I swear this woman didn't like me in the begining, specially that she had to drive us home, and she was very sick. Then she had to take the staircase of the 4 floors, which is a lot for someone sick. She spent the next hour looking at me suspiciously, I think she thought I am not good enough for it. When I arrived home my aunt was already there. The ladies spent about two and half hours. We chatted a lot about the parliament elections,  I was only watching them cause I don't give a damn. Then they moved on talking about life in Egypt and how challenging that could be for the youth. Sometime later they asked us to sign a few more papers. And a couple of declarations, that I didn't have any kids from my previous marriage.  When we were done with all the papers, they checked the whole appartment to make sure it is a good place for you dear to grow up. They checked my room, and I told them that if you are too young I will get you a small bed beside mine. Else, you will stay in the other room. We had a little talk later on, and then I could feel that this lady understood that I am a responsible person and I know what I am doing exactly. But, still she advised that I pay a couple of visits to an orphanage just to get the feeling of how it will be like. I understood that it won't be long till the first commitee meets and give an acceptance for my application. We spent some good time. But, they insist I don't tell you the truth! 

According to each body's advice I should check a psychiatrist to find the best way to tell you the truth. You deserve the truth dear. Lies always break the heart, and I am not ready to break yours. I think I will go for the psychiatrist option to make the best for you.

On the 20th of November, my twin "soul" brother was back. I didn't expect it, though I had been thinking a lot about him lately. Maybe I could feel he was in trouble! I don't know. What I am sure of is he is one of the best who ever supported me. I think I need him around in this phase of my life. He advised that I check some books to get the experiences of other foster parents. I followed his advice and I bought a couple of e-books.

This morning I woke up very exhausted because I spent all night dreaming of war. I am not sure about this world anymore. Since the Russian plane was bombed in Sinai, and then followed by terrorists attacks in Paris, it started to be clear that world war 3 is about to start. And since I am committed to you now I have been looking to life in a different way. Before, I wouldn't mind at all, at least I would have my sufferings end. But, now, I have been thinking seriously of immigration. I have been looking in the world map lately. I found the safest place to be in New Zealand. I am not sure, too far was a bad thing for me, and I wished to move to Scotland sometime. Now I think it is the best to be far away from this crazy world, somewhere those crazy countries are not interested in at all. It feels crazy taking such a responsibilty of adopting you in this time. But, maybe this adoption be our ticket to immigration one day! 
That's why I decided to renew my passport. It has expired in September. Just needed new photos that I will take after having my hair done at the hairdresser's.

Maybe while you are reading this we are already in New Zealand, maybe in Scotland. Maybe the leaders were wise enough to avoid another world war I don't know. I only hope you are happy and safe now. 

Love you my girl.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My dream trips :)

I decided to write down my dream trips, since I add more to that every now and then, I'm afraid I will forget something. I really wish to do those trips before I die :). I won't sort them. Whatever is possible to do first, I will. 1. Another visit to the UK, one that's more organized, and maybe for a longer time 2. Spend some time in Paris, three nights is never enough! 3. Angkor, Cambodia! 4. Latin America, didn't decide which countries yet, but for sure I have to drop by Peru to visit a friend there 5. Aswan 6. A trip along the Nile till I reach lake Victoria. I have to drop by each country of the nine, really feel it, breathe it, taste it! 7. Italy, this one will be a long trip, I believe I need to visit every single province there! 8. Bali, Indonesia 9. India...India...India (this one may need a month!) 10. China 11. Planet Japan (Maybe!) 12. Qatar, wanna see the place where I grew up once more :) 13. A trip to the gulf countries in general! 14. Malaysia, I believe...

What a WONDERFUL world!

On Tuesday, February 3, 2009 Send love, receive love!! This is what I experienced this year. As everyone knows, today happened to be my birthday! And, for my surprise, I got the highest number of birthday wishes ever!! I even got wishes form someones that I never expected they will!! The thing, that NEVER happened before! NO words can tell how happy I felt for those wishes. YOU all made my day :)) Though, I was wondering, why this year specially, what happened, what is the change?!! I kept wondering. Before, yes, I always loved everyone around me, never hated anyone. I know, I was too busy before with the much trouble I lived in. Maybe I didn't have much time to turn to people around me. I know this year was different, I started to concentrate more on people. But, still I don't believe this is the reason why. Later on, after a lot of thinking and wondering and remembering, I remembered that in the past few days, while attending a course for PHE, we did some exercise, an ex...

About Letting Go

They keep telling us that letting go is about forgiving and forgetting. They say when you do forgive and forget you are released from the past, from the abusive relationship, from the ghost of that person hunting you. But, what if you forgive, and forget, and try to move on but still feel stuck in their energy? As if they have octopus arms that keep dragging you back to their being, and there seems no way to escape! Maybe what you have been told all your life is wrong. Maybe in some cases it is not enough to just forgive and forget. Maybe, just maybe, you need to walk one extra mile in their favour so their arms are unwind and you are able run your own life. You believe he/she is a devil, who doesn't deserve good? Maybe they are, but the universe has other plans than having them punished directly for the wrong the did to you. Maybe, they are not as bad as you believe. Maybe, it is all about walking that extra mile to release yourself. It is about you, not about who they are or what...
"Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast."

The Prophet ~ Khalil Gibran