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To my Mirror

We've been in a "no contact situation" for so many years. It feels awkward to write, and I know it feels worse trying to get back in touch! A few years ago, I wanted to post this, exactly around the summer of 2020. Back then I came to the realization that my mother is a covert narcissist. The realization was traumatic, that I lost half the volume of my hair, and my gut health got worse to the point that I became intolerant to most foods, even fresh veggies!  But, that learning about my mother made me realize a more important thing; you are my mirror! A month after you decided to leave, I got a call from a friend who used to work with your father, may his soul rest in peace. And, that call helped me understand how complicated your relationship with your father is. I knew it was complicated, but I didn't know to what extent! Back then I asked God, why now?! He left, why do you give me this info now! I couldn't find an answer and I went on with my life. About a coupl
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About Letting Go

They keep telling us that letting go is about forgiving and forgetting. They say when you do forgive and forget you are released from the past, from the abusive relationship, from the ghost of that person hunting you. But, what if you forgive, and forget, and try to move on but still feel stuck in their energy? As if they have octopus arms that keep dragging you back to their being, and there seems no way to escape! Maybe what you have been told all your life is wrong. Maybe in some cases it is not enough to just forgive and forget. Maybe, just maybe, you need to walk one extra mile in their favour so their arms are unwind and you are able run your own life. You believe he/she is a devil, who doesn't deserve good? Maybe they are, but the universe has other plans than having them punished directly for the wrong the did to you. Maybe, they are not as bad as you believe. Maybe, it is all about walking that extra mile to release yourself. It is about you, not about who they are or what

To George Michael

Dear George, I was shocked to read the news that you passed away. That was not expected at all! It is such a loss. You were one of my best friends, though we never met! My good friend is dead! You know you don't have to meet someone to be friends with. But, if their words affect the way you grow that is even a better reason to become friends, at one side of course! You taught me good music, added to my vocabulary, emotions, self respect, caring for others, you taught me how to be human! I get consumed in my day to day life, years pass while am trying to maintain a "good" life. Confusions, disappointments, heartbreaks, but I always knew I got my back. I would always turn to you when I felt the urge to let my emotions rush out of my heart.  Now I feel old, one of my best friends is already dead. I am not a young woman anymore, only a middle aged stuck in this world. I lost my youth over fake people and lost dreams.  Regret, is what I feel writing this,  one of my dr

Intentions

"When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." - Paulo Coelho Intention is not a wish, it is a decision. A decision to make a change, a decision to keep going no matter what teasers could be thrown your way to change your mind. Intention is a feeling of peace inside, a feeling that you know exactly what you want. And that you know as well it may not be easy to achieve it. Intention means you decided to take that leap of faith, and there is no going back. If you have the real intentions, the universe will help you do it.

Life Phases

As you watch a baby grow, you see that this happens in phases; there's the phase when he didn't know how to sit, but then he learns to, then he starts to crawl, then walk, then talk...and so on. You never see a baby who sticks to any of these phases, or tries to go back to a previous one, he never decides to stop walking and lay in bed as he used to before he learned to sit. Phases are clear when it comes to those little humans. As we grow older, our growth and maturity happens inside of us, it is mental and emotional, not physical and tangible as it happens with the babies. But, we tend to not be willing to grow up or mature. We try to stick around that latest phase we have accomplished. We believe that growing up is painful. We need to learn from the babies that when a phase is over we should let go, and enjoy all the excitement about the new phase, never look back. We should love that we matured into a new person.

The easy path or the right path?

We are frequently challenged in life, life would ask a question and throw many answers from which we have to choose only one. By human nature, we tend to choose the easiest answer, which is unfortunately the wrong answer. You were challenged in the first place to grow, to learn something new about life or about yourself. It is a chance that life offers you to mature, to become a better version of you. Choosing the "easy" answer, or path won't take you anywhere. You will only keep running in spirals and you will have to face the same question again. When life throws a challenge in your way, take your time, think, find which of them makes you most uncomfortable. That is the right answer...the right path. All you need to do then is take the "leap of faith"...and before you know it all your fear will be gone, and everything becomes under control. Never let fear choose for you!

Expectations

Wishing for something is one thing, and expecting how it is going to happen is another. We often wish for things expecting we get them a way or another, blinding ourselves from other odd ways that could lead to our wishes. Clinging to the method rather than the goal, focusing on the how and the when instead of being open to all possibilities. That is how we often have our wishes disregarded. Open your eyes and heart. Don't be afraid. Your wishes could be granted in the most extraordinary ways.
"Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast."

The Prophet ~ Khalil Gibran