For every mother and daughter there is this journey, that starts when the mother knows about her pregnancy and waits for those whole nine months till she holds her daughter in her arms.
I was thinking about us, I won't be your biological mother. But, still we will have our own journey. I know it won't be easy, all I have to go through till I hold you in my arms. And, only God knows what YOU have to go through.
I decided to write this, so, one day when you grow up, you know how our special journey looked like, how it felt like. I want you to know how much I love you even before I put my eyes on you.
Forgive me if I have waited for too long. I made this decision long ago, maybe seven or eight years, probably long ago before you were born! Sometimes I don't know why it took me so long to get into action. I think one of the reasons is that I was looking for a good father for you. I am sorry, I failed to do it. All the good ones are taken. So, forgive me if I have to play the role of both, your mother and father. Other reasons could be is that I thought of you as a backup plan. I know this sounds really bad, but this wasn't the truth. Lately, some months ago, I had this self talk, and I was very frank to myself. I want you if I make a family or not. I want you no matter how hard this will be. I will do anything to have you in my life. It could be that I was too scared to do it on my own. I know you won't understand this till you grow up. It is a very huge responsibility and only few people understand it.
For the coming months, I know I will have to go through many steps, till I reach the end of this journey. I will try to record every step I take as soon as I take it. Sometimes it is hard to remember how something felt. And I want you to know all the details.
I was thinking about us, I won't be your biological mother. But, still we will have our own journey. I know it won't be easy, all I have to go through till I hold you in my arms. And, only God knows what YOU have to go through.
I decided to write this, so, one day when you grow up, you know how our special journey looked like, how it felt like. I want you to know how much I love you even before I put my eyes on you.
Forgive me if I have waited for too long. I made this decision long ago, maybe seven or eight years, probably long ago before you were born! Sometimes I don't know why it took me so long to get into action. I think one of the reasons is that I was looking for a good father for you. I am sorry, I failed to do it. All the good ones are taken. So, forgive me if I have to play the role of both, your mother and father. Other reasons could be is that I thought of you as a backup plan. I know this sounds really bad, but this wasn't the truth. Lately, some months ago, I had this self talk, and I was very frank to myself. I want you if I make a family or not. I want you no matter how hard this will be. I will do anything to have you in my life. It could be that I was too scared to do it on my own. I know you won't understand this till you grow up. It is a very huge responsibility and only few people understand it.
For the coming months, I know I will have to go through many steps, till I reach the end of this journey. I will try to record every step I take as soon as I take it. Sometimes it is hard to remember how something felt. And I want you to know all the details.
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