Skip to main content

Your first dress

Today is the 18th of January. I have been in the UAE for 10 days now. Depression has been taking over the past few days. I guess it is because of the effort I make that my body is not used to.

Recently, we have got two babies in the family. So, I decided that I should get the new borns clothes from here. I decided that I should take all the way to the mall walking, maybe I would lose that depression. And, guess what, I felt much better just the moment I went inside that mall, though my legs and my knees hurt. I decided that I should have a good intake of chocolate to help more with the depression, then start my journey of search.

All alone walking, and searching, of course I was thinking too, that I lost my way lots of times inside the mall. Many things were getting clearer. I believe I feel much better alone, I prefer to be by myself. I miss you!! I don't know why, but I feel so much like hugging you. Isn't it about time to buy you clothes. I always buy stuff to other babies. And, it should be your turn now. Only one problem shows, I have no idea how old you would be when we first meet. This looks like stopping me. But, let me think more, I have decided already that you would be a year at most. So, it would be a good idea to buy you a dress for that age, 12 months. Maybe it won't be the first you wear, but it will be the first I buy for you. But, what if it is a waste of money, I am not sure that I will ever meet you! This is the worst idea of all, I know that I can attract you to my life, it is all about intention. So, after a lot of hesitation and doubt, after a lot of walking, losing my way many times. I made the decision, I went into that store "monsoon" and I bought you such a beautiful dress. I attach it's photo here.


 I have always loved "monsoon" I think I will consider this our store. This is where we will shop our new dresses together...someday :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

My dream trips :)

I decided to write down my dream trips, since I add more to that every now and then, I'm afraid I will forget something. I really wish to do those trips before I die :). I won't sort them. Whatever is possible to do first, I will. 1. Another visit to the UK, one that's more organized, and maybe for a longer time 2. Spend some time in Paris, three nights is never enough! 3. Angkor, Cambodia! 4. Latin America, didn't decide which countries yet, but for sure I have to drop by Peru to visit a friend there 5. Aswan 6. A trip along the Nile till I reach lake Victoria. I have to drop by each country of the nine, really feel it, breathe it, taste it! 7. Italy, this one will be a long trip, I believe I need to visit every single province there! 8. Bali, Indonesia 9. India...India...India (this one may need a month!) 10. China 11. Planet Japan (Maybe!) 12. Qatar, wanna see the place where I grew up once more :) 13. A trip to the gulf countries in general! 14. Malaysia, I believe...

Emotional decision cycle

Stage 1: Everything, all the signs look positive. (Stable State of Heart) No answers, no clues, not a sign of anything I can do. (Helpless State of Mind) Stage 2: More new positive signs. The target seems so close. (Happy State of Heart) New signs, a clue, a brilliant idea! (Trust is the State of Mind) Stage 3: Negative signs start showing up. Things start to look messy. (Pessimistic State of Heart) The target starts fading away. Don't know what I should really do. Should I keep on, or let go! (Confusion State of Mind) Stage 4: Even more negative signs. I feel that I don't wanna do it. (Closure State of Heart) No solution, no clues. (Helpless State of Mind) Why did this cycle start? I don't really know. What was the aim? What are You trying to tell me God? I can't get it! Either, I'm too blessed, or too cursed. God, please, guide me to the right direction. You know it's Your satisfaction that I care for. Don't let me down. Please help me!!!

To George Michael

Dear George, I was shocked to read the news that you passed away. That was not expected at all! It is such a loss. You were one of my best friends, though we never met! My good friend is dead! You know you don't have to meet someone to be friends with. But, if their words affect the way you grow that is even a better reason to become friends, at one side of course! You taught me good music, added to my vocabulary, emotions, self respect, caring for others, you taught me how to be human! I get consumed in my day to day life, years pass while am trying to maintain a "good" life. Confusions, disappointments, heartbreaks, but I always knew I got my back. I would always turn to you when I felt the urge to let my emotions rush out of my heart.  Now I feel old, one of my best friends is already dead. I am not a young woman anymore, only a middle aged stuck in this world. I lost my youth over fake people and lost dreams.  Regret, is what I feel writing this,  one of my dr...
"Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast."

The Prophet ~ Khalil Gibran