On Sunday the 15th of November 2015, in the early morning, while I was in a taxi driving me to work, I had my car being fixed at this time for the license renewal, back then, I received a call from Mrs. Imane. She said that the visit would be the next Thursday, and I told her I would have to confirm for all the parties to be available. Thanks God I wasn't driving at that moment, I think I would have made an accident of confusion. I spent the next two hours arranging with everyone to make sure that Thursday would work with everybody. And I did it!
On Tuesday I went to the garage to receive my car (Barkooka), but, I found it was not ready yet, and some other stuff needed to be done.
The next Wednesday, Mrs. Imane called asking me to go drive them from their office to home, I was confused, I said yes, though I didn't have my car to do that! After I hanged up, I realised it. I asked your grandma for support, but, she had other stuff to do...
Thursday, I took a taxi and went to the office, I was half an hour early. For the taxi dirver it was too long to wait for the ladies. And I had to wait in the street till they arrived. It was 8:30 in the morning! Anyway, they both arrived, with about twenty minutes difference. When Mrs. Imane arrived she took me up to her office so I can fill the application till the other lady arrives. It was the first time to meet ... and now I forgot her name! That's how I am since I became a Fibro patient. Anyway, I swear this woman didn't like me in the begining, specially that she had to drive us home, and she was very sick. Then she had to take the staircase of the 4 floors, which is a lot for someone sick. She spent the next hour looking at me suspiciously, I think she thought I am not good enough for it. When I arrived home my aunt was already there. The ladies spent about two and half hours. We chatted a lot about the parliament elections, I was only watching them cause I don't give a damn. Then they moved on talking about life in Egypt and how challenging that could be for the youth. Sometime later they asked us to sign a few more papers. And a couple of declarations, that I didn't have any kids from my previous marriage. When we were done with all the papers, they checked the whole appartment to make sure it is a good place for you dear to grow up. They checked my room, and I told them that if you are too young I will get you a small bed beside mine. Else, you will stay in the other room. We had a little talk later on, and then I could feel that this lady understood that I am a responsible person and I know what I am doing exactly. But, still she advised that I pay a couple of visits to an orphanage just to get the feeling of how it will be like. I understood that it won't be long till the first commitee meets and give an acceptance for my application. We spent some good time. But, they insist I don't tell you the truth!
According to each body's advice I should check a psychiatrist to find the best way to tell you the truth. You deserve the truth dear. Lies always break the heart, and I am not ready to break yours. I think I will go for the psychiatrist option to make the best for you.
On the 20th of November, my twin "soul" brother was back. I didn't expect it, though I had been thinking a lot about him lately. Maybe I could feel he was in trouble! I don't know. What I am sure of is he is one of the best who ever supported me. I think I need him around in this phase of my life. He advised that I check some books to get the experiences of other foster parents. I followed his advice and I bought a couple of e-books.
This morning I woke up very exhausted because I spent all night dreaming of war. I am not sure about this world anymore. Since the Russian plane was bombed in Sinai, and then followed by terrorists attacks in Paris, it started to be clear that world war 3 is about to start. And since I am committed to you now I have been looking to life in a different way. Before, I wouldn't mind at all, at least I would have my sufferings end. But, now, I have been thinking seriously of immigration. I have been looking in the world map lately. I found the safest place to be in New Zealand. I am not sure, too far was a bad thing for me, and I wished to move to Scotland sometime. Now I think it is the best to be far away from this crazy world, somewhere those crazy countries are not interested in at all. It feels crazy taking such a responsibilty of adopting you in this time. But, maybe this adoption be our ticket to immigration one day!
That's why I decided to renew my passport. It has expired in September. Just needed new photos that I will take after having my hair done at the hairdresser's.
Maybe while you are reading this we are already in New Zealand, maybe in Scotland. Maybe the leaders were wise enough to avoid another world war I don't know. I only hope you are happy and safe now.
Love you my girl.
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