Skip to main content

The Approval

I know it has been too long since I have written anything. I wasn't in the mood for righting, and I was too stressed that I become lazy in my free time. But, today, things are gonna change, and I had to write now just to document my current state before it changes!

On the 23rd of January 2016 I received a message on whatsapp from Mrs. Hanan informing me that I got the approval. By that time, I started feeling desprate from waiting. It had been too long, much more than they had estimated. I called one before that date, and they said that my papers were just sent to the committee. Thinking that I still have to wait for the first and the second committee added more stress as things were not going as planned. My mom was travelling to the UAE for a month and I wanted to find you before she's back here so we could buy you stuff from there that would be to expenssive here. But, on that day I decided to let go. I decided to enjoy the good weather clean up my room after a sandy storm and look at it from a different perspective. Maybe God wanted me to have a little more time. Or maybe He wanted things to be delayed so "You" could be there when I reach out for you. I decided to stay positive, and so I got the message. And here's a screenshot. Calling Mrs. Hanan I found out there had been a misunderstanding and when I thought I was waiting for the first committe, I was actually waiting for the second. She told me if I had already found the baby, I can receive her! And that added to my confidence that God is planning something.



That was about 10 days before my birthday. For the first time since too long I was expecting my birthday in a happy mood! Receving this message I started to have a mix of feelings; relief and fear, happiness and worries. Then I knew I will have to face the step that I have been avoiding all the time; the search! I know this won't be easy, no woman has to choose her baby, but I have to do that. And I absoloutly have no criteria to work with. But, I have a belief, you will be the one choosing me and all I have to do is understand your signal. I need to have a clear mind and heart to do that. My role is to roam around the orphanages in greater Cairo, till you send that signal. And then I would know you. And I would take you home.

Then, things started to add up. Me and Mariam had the legal documents completed for our company, we had an elegant logo design finished, things were starting to fall in place. Only that the next day we started hearing rumors that we will have to move to the desert road. Our office will be moved and then all my plans seemed to have collapsed! I was planning to find a good nursery in Zamalek where I can take you on working days. I was planning to have the rest of the days spent in my company with Mariam, the one we were planning to be in Heliopolis, and we had already searched for places and foud a perfect one, we were about to rent it when we heard the news! Add to this that things are turning so bad here in Egypt. The economy is falling apart, and looks like we are following Greece in its disaster. Things are becoming confusing again, is it wise to stay here and start working on our new company? Should we use these documents and proceed with the immigration to New Zealand as entrepreneurs? Should I keep looking for an apartement for both of us? I had already done a first search in Obour city, found a couple of good aparetments, but they are a bit far. With all this confusion, I wanted to proceed with my plans for you. I was always pushing myself for things to move and I don't wanna lose my momentum. So, no matter what's going on with my life, your life has nothing to do with that, and things will work out a way or another.

A week ago mom returned from the UAE, she had bought some stuff for you. And that melted my heart, seeing all your little things had given me courage to take the step. I started calling the orphanages to know which ones deliver babies, most of them only allow adoption on their premises. Yesterday I made some calls, and today will be my first visit to an orphanage ever. I was told there was a girl in one of these in Heliopols. I am terrified. It could be you! But, would you be the first one I meet? Would I fall in love at first sight? I have no idea what's going to happen. I prayed an hour ago. Will go to the bank shortly, and by noon I will have my first visit. And that's what makes today a special day, that's why I thought I have to write now. Maybe we meet today! See you soon honey :* ...I wish!

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My dream trips :)

I decided to write down my dream trips, since I add more to that every now and then, I'm afraid I will forget something. I really wish to do those trips before I die :). I won't sort them. Whatever is possible to do first, I will. 1. Another visit to the UK, one that's more organized, and maybe for a longer time 2. Spend some time in Paris, three nights is never enough! 3. Angkor, Cambodia! 4. Latin America, didn't decide which countries yet, but for sure I have to drop by Peru to visit a friend there 5. Aswan 6. A trip along the Nile till I reach lake Victoria. I have to drop by each country of the nine, really feel it, breathe it, taste it! 7. Italy, this one will be a long trip, I believe I need to visit every single province there! 8. Bali, Indonesia 9. India...India...India (this one may need a month!) 10. China 11. Planet Japan (Maybe!) 12. Qatar, wanna see the place where I grew up once more :) 13. A trip to the gulf countries in general! 14. Malaysia, I believe...
8 comments
Read more

What a WONDERFUL world!

On Tuesday, February 3, 2009 Send love, receive love!! This is what I experienced this year. As everyone knows, today happened to be my birthday! And, for my surprise, I got the highest number of birthday wishes ever!! I even got wishes form someones that I never expected they will!! The thing, that NEVER happened before! NO words can tell how happy I felt for those wishes. YOU all made my day :)) Though, I was wondering, why this year specially, what happened, what is the change?!! I kept wondering. Before, yes, I always loved everyone around me, never hated anyone. I know, I was too busy before with the much trouble I lived in. Maybe I didn't have much time to turn to people around me. I know this year was different, I started to concentrate more on people. But, still I don't believe this is the reason why. Later on, after a lot of thinking and wondering and remembering, I remembered that in the past few days, while attending a course for PHE, we did some exercise, an ex...
Post a Comment
Read more

The easy path or the right path?

We are frequently challenged in life, life would ask a question and throw many answers from which we have to choose only one. By human nature, we tend to choose the easiest answer, which is unfortunately the wrong answer. You were challenged in the first place to grow, to learn something new about life or about yourself. It is a chance that life offers you to mature, to become a better version of you. Choosing the "easy" answer, or path won't take you anywhere. You will only keep running in spirals and you will have to face the same question again. When life throws a challenge in your way, take your time, think, find which of them makes you most uncomfortable. That is the right answer...the right path. All you need to do then is take the "leap of faith"...and before you know it all your fear will be gone, and everything becomes under control. Never let fear choose for you!
Post a Comment
Read more
"Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast."

The Prophet ~ Khalil Gibran