Tiill this very second I haven't got any confirmations that I will receive you next Tuesday. But, I have high hopes that it will work this time, and I won't have to wait anymore.
I am not sure why am writing this, but I guess to keep a record of many things I forgot to mention throughout the previous couple of letters for my poor focus and bad memory.
A few days ago you lost one of your earrings, you are too active and probably moving a lot in your bed you lost it. Thought I will keep it as a souvenir. Now I don't know what to do with the other one, should I keep it or leave it to them. To me you look like a visual person. About a month ago you started showing a different attitude. I remember maybe for the first month you were asleep most of the time I visited you. You would let me hold you close to fall asleep, though you used to raise your head because you wanted to watch (though you could bearly see at that time) everyone and everything. Then you were awake all the time, maybe cause I visit you during or just after your 5 o'clock meal. I would feed you, and then you start to cry if I leave you lying down on my arm. I have to carry you and have your back facing my chest. Now, you want to watch everyone and everything. When I take you to stand in the balcony, you keep turnig your head right and left with every car passing. You don't wanna sit down in the boring room. You want me to carry you in the balcony. I loved seeing you grow, and I loved the pain I felt in my body carrying you, my sore arms or my stiff back. I really enjoyed the pain. And this always brings the fact that if you were my bilogical baby I wouldn't have loved you more. The last few days you changed again. Now, when you want to sleep you want me to hold you tight and move around, or maybe stand away from any distractions, or you would start to cry. Two days ago there was a big family seeing their baby girl, she's a month younger than you. We had a little talk about what I did for your checkup. You spent most of the time watching them. You couldn't fall asleep because they were present. I had to take you to the balcony to help you get numb to sleep.
I forgot to tell you about the song that cracked up my voice! As I told you before I couldn't sing for you and I couldn't even listen to any music. One day I was watching TV and there was an interview with Afaf Rady, I have always loved her voice. They asked her to sing a song, and it was that one, eb3ed ya 7ob. I found myself singing with her. Maybe, because I feel its words. Doesn't feel so dreamy and fake with all the love lies like the other songs. I was glad listening to her. Later on that night I searched for the song online and it felt like am ready to start listening to music again. Tried to sing that one for you but it doesn't sound like an appropriate song for a baby. A couple of days later while I was with you, the tv was on and loud, as always. And there was a contest or something, and a girl was singing for my favourite Warda, lola el malama. I started singing with her. And I got the cutest look ever from you. You stared at me like you were listening for every word.
You have grown up so cute dear. Now you smile when you see me, I lay you down on your back on the bed in the clinic, and you start playing I try to cope with you, but then you seem like you want me to carry you. I don't understand how people thing that carrying or cuddling a baby is teaching them bad manners. I believe these people are too selfish. They just don't want to feel the pain. I am this old and the thing I miss the most is hugging. You are the only one I hug, and that helped me a lot feel alive.
It is so hot this days, I should go to work in a couple of hours and it is expected to reach 45 degrees. I thought you will do like everytime, choose the hottest day for your missions. But, thanks God, next Tuesday it should be 35, it is not pretty but not as hot as the 45 :D!
Now everyone is asking me if I already received you. Didn't expect this much care. My mon went to a wedding on Thusrday, and everyone was talking about you! Your picture on facebook has brought you many fans. Seems you already cought everyone's eyes! I hope their hearts too :*. A couple of days ago during the morning Ameera called to know if I had you home, a few hours later, I found she was calling again, and that made me feel worried. They knew that her mom is sick and needs an operation. Salwa is supposed to give birth for her first child in a couple of weeks, after waitig for too long. Life is so strange, how all the incidents are arranged.
The past few paragraphs I was writing yesterday in the early morning before I go to work. Was planning to publish the post later on that day. But, I got too tired and busy.
On my way to work, Hanan called to confirm that I should receive you tomorrow. Then I called Nagah to arrange the meeting in Mohandeseen. Me and mom should pass by Hanan's office tomorrow at 9, to be in Mohandeseen by 10:30.
Today, I went to visit you like I do everyday. I had to bring them clothes for you. I wasn't able to spend enough time with you, had a lot of work to do, for coaching, and at home getting ready for you. Fixed the filter, washed the rest of your clothes, sterilize your stuff. I went to your current home at 7. With your clothes. You were so happy seeing me with lots of smiles. I had to sign a declaration for receiving you, and that I won't borrow their pump for breastfeeding. While filling that paper, you were lying on the bed in the clinic, and seems that you didn't like the fact that I was busy doing something else. You started making lots of sounds as if you were calling me! I was enjoying those sounds and couldn't help it but hold you so tight after I finished the form. I love you so much my dear. I had to run early coz they close at 8. And I had lots of stuff to do. Right now it is almost 2 am. I am waiting for the washing machine. Your blanket is in there and I need it to dry before you are here!
Tomorrow, the 17th of May, is the day I will have you home with me. That is exactly 3 months since we met. Tomorrow, hopefully, I will write my last letter to you in our special journey. Tomorrow will be the first day in the life we are gonna share together. Only a few hours dear. Love you more than you can ever imagine :*.
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